Have you ever been around someone who nothing is ever their fault?
No matter how the evidence shows the person is guilty, they will refuse over and over that whatever happened it was not their fault.
These types of people can be some of the most frustrating people to be around.
But truth be told, we are all guilty of being this person at times.
When I went through a divorce years ago, I had the mindset that I did everything I could to save the marriage and my husband at the time was the reason things didn’t work out.
But after sitting in my pity party for a while, God began to show me I was also to blame for my marriage falling apart.
You see it can be easy to point out what other people are doing wrong and how they are to blame, but I believe God is trying to grow us up in this season.
I also believe this is a season for many of us if not all of us, to learn how to look in the mirror and ask ourselves “what part did I play in why my life looks the way it does?”
And what better time for some introspection than during the holiday seasons. This is a time of year where most people are either focused on how blessed they are or focused on how they wish their life was different.
Thanksgiving is next week, and people are preparing to gather with family and friends and unfortunately people are also preparing for drama and dysfunction that many families experience when they come together.
You see there’s a thing called generational curses and toxic patterns that are often allowed to go on from generation to generation and instead of addressing the problems and working to change things, most people look for someone to blame and use that as an excuse to stay the same.
And of course, I know many of us have experienced some awful things at the hands of others and in some cases, we didn’t play a part in what happened to us but…
WE DO PLAY A PART IN WHAT WE DO WITH WHAT HAPPENED TO US.
Life can really hit you with a gut punch sometimes and people can betray and disappoint you in ways you never even imagined.
But one thing I’ve finally learned and accepted as a woman in my 40’s, I have no control over what other people may do or not do, but I do have control over myself.
Even in moments where you feel “pushed” by others or you feel you have no choice; I want to remind you here today you always have a choice.
Today is the day where we face some hard truths, so that we can stop blaming others and begin to take some personal accountability.
You saw the red flags before you got in that relationship, but you believed you could change them…
You get mad at your family for how they treat you, but you have no boundaries…
You get upset with the government for not doing more for you, instead of seeking God for how you can make your own life better…
You blame your upbringing for why you’re angry and turn to alcohol to cope instead of seeking therapy…
You say there’s no good men out there and spread that nonsense to anyone who will listen instead of asking yourself “what is it about me that keeps attracting these types of men?”
You complain that no one helps you, but you never asked anyone for help…
I could go on and on about all the many ways we look to blame others for what we’re going through, but if you continue to play the blame game, your life will continue to stay the same.
Growth comes when you stop focusing on others and begin to look within.
I’m not saying it’s an easy thing to do, but I am saying it will save you a lot of frustration and time.
No matter how your life looks right now ask “what part did I play in why my life looks the way it does?”
And be honest with yourself; if you struggle with being honest with yourself, ask God to show you- He will.
If you want things to be different, you must be intentional about doing things differently.
I believe now is the time to make it up in your mind that it doesn’t matter what anyone else around you is doing, you will take full responsibility for your actions.
I have a few things I say to myself when facing difficult situations that have helped me, and I want to share those with you…
- Is what I’m doing helping or hurting?
- Be proactive not reactive
- Don’t just listen to what people say, watch how they move
- Everything does not require a response
- It’s ok to say No
- And lastly how can I improve in this area?
I truly believe God wants to do some amazing things in this upcoming year, but unfortunately there are going to be many who will miss out because they want to continue to cry “woe is me” and point the finger at others. However, for those of us who are ready to grow up and be accountable for our actions, we will be in a great position to receive all that God wants for us.
If you want to stop playing the blame game and want some accountability as you walk this process out, I would love to come along side of you and help. Schedule a Get Unstuck Strategy Session with me today and let’s get to work.
